Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I will admit and this thing I am terrified of.

I will admit this. I am over weight. Ok, I am more than over weight, I am obese. I have diabetes. I did go see a doctor about it, a bariatrician that put me on an 800 calorie a day diet, and I did lose a lot of weight, but after doing that for a year, I had to quit because I didn't lose enough, and someone else was paying for it( as a gift) and it was very expensive program. The doctor also had me taking some vitamin supplememnts that I did not like. I had to buy the food there in the office. So I gave up going to that doctor. I still see a regular doctor for physicals and such. I take meds for diabetes. I get discouraged. I was surfing the web tonight and found info on the bariatric surgery called gastric bypass, or something like that. It looks really scary to me. Anything about 'going under the needle' scares me. Anything about surgery and anesthesia scares me. Once I had to have oral surgery done to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. When I found out that I would have to have a tiny IV inserted, I kind of freaked. The staff at the dental office did calm my worries when I found out. The day of my surgery, just as I was starting to drift off, I was still not quite out of it, I sort of mentally panicked and started having these irrational thoughts'GET THIS THING OUT OF ME'! And it was all I could do to keep from ripping that tiny IV out of my finger. I didn't, but I cannot imagine what would have happened if I had a bigger one in me. I am amazed at other people. I hear women talk about going through childbirth onne day and are up around and walking the next day and chatting. Things like that scare the shit right outta me.(Except regular visits to the dentist which I dont mind) I think that I have a low pain threshhold. Maybe I am crazy, but the idea of any kind of surgery or giving birth scares the hell outta me


Hugh H said...

Hi, Heather. I am overweight too. I have lost twenty pounds this last year. Not a lot, but it's better than gaining twenty. I will lose twenty this next year also. I want to dump 100 lbs total over a five year period. I walk on a treadmill 3 or 4 times a week, 1 1/2 mile in half an hour. I worked up to this gradually. I watch Judge Judy when I walk, this is the only way this is tolerable. I did not become obese overnight and I won't lose this weight overnight. But no matter what, five years will pass. Don't be overwhelmed by your situation, Heather. Make realistic goals and work at them. Have a plan and start now. Don't beat yourself up, just make up your mind you are going to lose a small amount of weight every three months,(or whatever period you choose) and lose it. I dislike doctors, but I do what needs to be done. Good luck.

HeatherA40 said...

Thanks, Hugh H.. You know, I am really starting to like you:)